WHY DO RELATIONSHIPS FAIL???

Most of us want to meet and settle down with the “right” person, and most of us want such a relationship to last. At the same time, the majority of romantic partnerships end in dissolution. What are some of the major causes?

 Below are 9 reasons why relationships fail!!

1.TRUST ISSUES.

Trust issues may include factors such asjealousy, possessiveness, unreasonable rigidity, emotional infidelity, physical/sexual infidelity, relational game playing, lack of reliability and dependability, lack of emotional support, lack of financial compatibility, and lack of mutually-supportive goals.

If you believe trust is a major issue in your relationship (or was in your former relationship), examine whether the lack of trust is based on a pattern of evidence (such as significant broken promises), or mostly subjective emotions (such as jealousy without proof). Consider honestly whether the lack of trust is based on tangible substance or unjustified fears.

2.Different Expectations

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

central as the realities and demands of day to day life sets in. Overtime, a couple’s expectations in the relationship may differentiate, as they begin to see their respective life plans as “what I want,” instead of “what we want.”

Some of the reasons relationship divergence occur between a couple include:

Mister/Miss Right or Mister/Miss Right Now?

Does your partner see you as “Mister/Miss Right”, or “Mister/Miss Right Now”?  In other words, how serious is your partner about being in a long-term committed relationship with you? What about you with your partner?

Differences in Priorities

Your partner has different priorities and expectations regarding the relationship.

For some, the significant-other relationship (and family) is the primary center of gravity of life. Nothing else comes close in its importance.  

For others, a romantic relationship, even a committed one, is but one facet of life. There are many other aspects of life which, in their perspective, can justifiably take higher priority.

3.    Moving Through Life at Different Speeds

When one partner is learning and growing at a rapid pace, while the other is stagnating, this may be a source of relational divergence. One example of this would be a partner advancing quickly in her career and society, while her significant other is stagnating at home. The professional and social circles of the couple begin to diverge, and soon the couple themselves differentiate. They have physically, intellectually, and socially grown apart.

4. Life Habit Abuse

Life habit abuses are traits which, although may or may not directly involve the partner (such as a secret gambling addiction), may ultimately affect the relationship in a destructive way. Examples of life habit abuse include: Drug addiction. Alcohol addiction. Gambling addiction. Sexual addiction.

5. 
 Grown Apart, Boredom, Staleness, Rut

If any of the four terms written above resonates with your relationship experience, there are a couple of elements to consider:

If you have been in a relationship for two years or less, and you and your partner have “grown apart”, it could be due to a lack of commitment, different expectations, lack of compatibility, or the natural process of trial and error in mate-finding.

If you are in a long-term relationship, it is possible that life obligations (such as school, work, and especially child-rearing) got in the way of couple connectedness and mutual evolvement. A classic example is the “empty nest” syndrome, where after all the children have grown and left home, the parentssuddenly feel like strangers to one-another, having not focused on each another for so many years.

6. Too much dominance. This is the opposite of sacrificing too much. Instead, you expect your partner to be at your beck and call, or else, they will be sorry! Instead of fostering a relationship based on love and trust, you’re instilling fear into your partner.

What this does is force your partner to be miserable and helpless or it can lead them to lie, sneak around or even find someone else’s shoulder or bed just to avoid your wrath and their misery.

7.Little lies that build up. A couple of white lies at the start of your relationship can be common. Of course, you want to put your best foot forward. But it’s also important to eventually come clean or at least try to prevent the lies in the first place.

When these lies build up, it might spiral into a web of lies that you can no longer get out of. It’ll be a huge form of deception, even if it all just started from one little white lie. 

8. When you lack physical intimacy.

Physical intimacy does not necessarily imply having sex regularly to keep the flame in your relationship alive. The smallest touches and gestures are enough to show your partner that you care – holding their hand when you are walking side by side, tucking their hair behind their ears, giving them a hug when they are upset, et al are just some of the things you can do show that you care. Being in a relationship is all about being in love, and no matter how clichéd it gets, it is important to kiss each other often and have physical contact with your partner. If you find yourself withdrawing from their touch, or don’t feel the urge to be in physical contact with them, then there is something very wrong in your relationship.

9. When you can’t give each other time

When you love someone, and want to keep their company no matter how busy you are, you will manage to find time to be with them. Giving time to your partner is a way of showing them that they are a priority in your life, and they are still your favorite person, no matter how long you have been with each other; not doing so can lead to your partner thinking the exact opposite, which will inevitably end in disaster. When couples stop making time for each other, the relationship usually ends in failure, because they become emotionally unattached. Lack of time, or even being away from each other for long periods of time, can lead to miscommunication, misunderstanding, and unresolved fights, which might culminate in resentment.

Hope yau’ll find this article useful!!

        Xoxo